Yes, I know it’s only pre-season, but it’s sure better then anything that’s on TV. I may have said this before but I don’t want to go back and look at my earlier posts to check. Why cant networks have shows that run all year long?

Anyway, pre-season football is a lot like my sister-in-law baking cupcakes, it starts out as something that your really looking forward to, and ends up something that may have been better left undone. I’ll explain a little. My sister-in-law Victoria would come and say “Hey guys, I’m gonna bake cupcakes”. Of course I’m all for anything with frosting.

So she starts taking out all the pots and pans and eggs and flower and whatever else cooks take out when there feeding about 80 people. So as I sit watching some kind of sporting event on TV, she’s in there, pots banging, eggs cracking, blenders blending, sounds like an episode of “Hells kitchen”. She takes a break to go to the bathroom (sorry Victoria, but yes we all know even you must use the bathroom) she comes out of the kitchen covered in flower, eggs dripping from her fingertips and I’m thinking “WOW, these are gonna be some good cupcakes. You know the kind that you can eat like 5 in a row then 15 min later have another 3 of them”.

So now shes back in the kitchen (It’s been about 2 hours of cooking at this point) so I decide to get up and take a peak. I look in the kitchen and it looks like somebody put a stick of dynamite in a 9 tier wedding cake. There was stuff everywhere. Batter on the ceiling, egg juice on the floor, frosting on her eyebrows. I just shook my head and went and sat back down not wanting to say too much and miss out on a dozen or so of these cupcakes that i have now been waiting 2 1/2 hours for.

Then came the magic words I had been waiting all day to hear “Bill your cupcake it ready” I thought to myself “My cupcake?” you mean my CUPCAKES!!. . But I again didn’t want to make her mad and loose my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cupcakes. So out came this beautiful cupcake. I mean this thing was like 14 year old boy looking at a Farrah Fawcett poster in 1983, It was breathtaking. golden white cake with a bright creamy white frosting. As I reached out and took it off the plate i was thinking ” just relax and take little bites and enjoy all her hard work”. But then I said “screw it ill just have more when I’m done with this one” needless to say 2 bites later the masterpiece that Victoria made was gone. She stood there in complete shock and asked me “why the hell did you just shove it in your mouth like that?” I said “because it’s a cupcake, now can I have another one please?” She looked at me for what seemed like 10 minutes when a small single tear started to slide down her flowery (baking flower) cheek. I said “well can I have another?” She paused one more second then yelled, “THAT WAS THE ONLY ONE I MADE !!!”  I looked at her in disbelief, then I paused and turned my head towards the kitchen to look at what can only be described as a bakery bombing and said “are you serious”? She just ran in her bedroom with egg and flower and frosting falling on the floor behind her.  Not sure exactly what all this had to do with football, but 98% of this is a true story. Victoria , I don’t think I ever got to say thank you for that cupcake. It was a little too sweet, but thank you.